The Greatest Story Of All Time
by Eldritch Hremph
Summary: "Check your privilege Dark Knight, or Ella will surly die of a telekinetic blast by Geralt's father Spike ." -Charles Xavier
1. Chapter 1

Me and King Koopa went out and stuck our dicks into 2D's eye-holes who said "I do not feel good". and we all laughed it off until our death star got attacked by catholic time counter terrorists which wasn't so gr8 and IGN r8ed 0/8. but the circumference of Benito Mussolini proved to be too powerful for the counter terrorists and we were all able to sing our chorus of friendship.

PewdiepieXZed ship didn't sail so we were stuck in a Darude - Sandstorm limbo until the day a triangle had three part-time jobs # Illuminaticonfirmed

Leonard didn't drink his recommended liters of blood today so Sheldon and the gang were pissed as their home got attacked by The Mario Brothers leaving Penny and Lord Vader alone to repopulate the world with only one box of instant macaroni and cheese. but all is not lost cause Shrek is love when trying to circumvent the celestial aura of a stilted nacho platter.

So let's go on a date with Backward Bill and see if he can't deconstruct the Hobbes generator and hope poor Calvin won't be alone waiting for Half Life 3 much longer. "All we have to fear is fear itself" said Jimmy Neutron trying to have a 'brain blast' but Rubeus Hagrid gave him an ACTUAL brain blast with his crossbow, allowing Hiro Hamada to collect his brain matter painted across the lab floor.

Rocking Mre and Mark Velard had a debate over 2+2=the meaning of life, but was eventually settled over a round of Russian Roulette. ^^^That sentence is in the shape of Kanye West # Illuminaticonfirmed

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a Mrs puff. Peace.

-The Necronomicon


	2. The Revenge Of Toto

Paul McCartney and his so called "band" were causing trouble outside the mystery shack so Taeja Logue got up from her Skywhale and slapped George upside his rounded glasses causing Gabe Newel to scream and burst the head of Newton. Everything was quiet when Jazmarie Wisor came souring by on her cat Daisy to fight the evil ruffians Rhett and Link.  
So there I was left trying reverse psychology on a pesky raven, "fine!" it said, and I was not happy to see that Marcelline and her new boyfriend Vageta were already dead when I came in. I became so depressed after the hilarious incident involving the botchling, that I didn't even drink my daily glass of Octodad's squid ink!  
But I remembered Ursala and the importants of body language "Is that the true meaning of Xmas?" I asked "You're a cunt Zafy!" said Cosmo.  
So it was true! or at least it was, but then I got an arrow to the knee.

"And that's the story. see ya son" "Hey Granpa?" "Yes?" "...fuck me..." -smirks- "As you wish."


	3. It's on like Konky Dong

"tank 'em, scrub!" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once upon a time in a land known as Git Gud Valley a beautiful princess by the name of The Dactylomancer (Or Dacty for short) lay on her bed pwning nubs on The Price Is Right. The host turned toward her and smirked "so what is the answer to the thermal nuclear bug bite on the Simon says incident of 87?" he asked. Dacty answered "Zimbabwe!" "That is correct!" said he, feeling stupefied by her courageous intelligence.

But then as the show was coming to a close, Yugioh challenged Donkey Kong to a d-d-d-d-dual! "I challenge you to a d-d-d-d-dual!" he shouted. Donkey Kong glared at him "Hoohooohaahaa!" Donkey snarkily retorted.

The audience laughed at the poor d-d-d-d-dualist "Quit this monkey business!" said the host "Now dual!" Yugioh unleashed his most super special card on the ape. and Donkey laid there dead as donut but donut worry because the perimeter of fact = fiction times the power of Shrek conquers all.

So I guess the moral of this story is...whatever makes your dick hard or your pussy wet... **SHREK!** until now...

later that century Half Life 3 had finally been announced, storm troopers everywhere were pissed that Gabe Newel didn't send them an apology gift card for chrissakes. Chief commander RageGaming and his colleague algebra knew it was already too late.

So Simba tried looking at it another way and he realized the real magic was in Shrek this whole time.

"It's all ogre now." -Abraham Lincoln


End file.
